Trigger Warning: this post discusses negative feelings of pregnancy, post partum and baby loss

My youngest is 5 years old now, so this feels delayed (!) but someone asked me to elaborate on my post partum slump that I mentioned a few weeks back and I realise I’ve never put it into words before. Because it’s not a simple story of my body changed, I became a mum and I didn’t know how to dress anymore. It actually unfolded over a period of seven years and seeped into my work, my life and my friendships. Getting dressed is often a mirror of how we see the world and when the person behind the mirror has lost the confidence to even look anymore, it can have a lasting impact.

This was supposed to be a quick chatty post but has turned into a quite a long read, so prepare to buckle up for potentially TMI, but hopefully solidarity?

The reason I rarely offer maternity dressing ideas was because I was brutally sick for all my pregnancies, I couldn’t even sit up in bed for the first 4-6 months and was still vomiting regularly up to 6 months. It clouded every single part of my life, I only cared about getting dressed to take photos for work (because if I wasn’t consistent, the work would dry up, and it’s already hard enough finding advertisers when you’re pregnant) and I lost all interest in getting dressed and caring about my appearance. The one tip I discovered whilst pregnant was investing in some maternity elasticated smart trousers and then all I needed were oversized shirts and a cocoon coat (that I already owned) that I could throw on top. I wanted to spend the least amount of money on maternity wear because I wanted to be pregnant the least amount of time possible. I just wished to be me again and wear the clothes I loved.